Let’s get real about motivation. I’ve personally found that it is not some magical force that’s going to descend upon you in a beam of light while a choir sings in the background. Nope. Motivation’s a bit of a diva—it shows up after you’ve done the hard stuff, not before. So, if you’re waiting for it to hit before taking action, spoiler alert: you’re going to be waiting forever. Motivation is like that friend who’s always late to the party but then acts like they’ve been there the whole time. Let’s chat about why that’s true and how you can trick yourself into moving forward, even when all you want to do is stay firmly planted in your comfort zone.
Finding motivation when you're struggling
We all have these days when everything feels heavy and even getting off the couch seems like a Herculean task. Sometimes, the idea of trying something new feels like punishment. Some days will feel like that, there’s no stopping that. And when you’re struggling with Depression, it might be this way every day. When you’re in that place, even basic things like getting out of bed or taking a shower can feel overwhelming. You might look at your to-do list and think, “Not today. Not ever.” It’s not that you’re lazy; it’s that your brain is actively working against you, convincing you that nothing is worth the effort.
It might not be depression; but just pure exhaustion from work and life piling up. Either way, you end up stuck, unable to muster the energy to do anything. So, how do you move forward when even the smallest steps feel impossible?
Start absurdly small
The trick is to scale down your expectations to an almost laughable level. Forget the big goals for now. Start ridiculously small—so small that it feels silly not to do them. Maybe your “big win” today is sitting up in bed or drinking a glass of water. Maybe it’s walking to the kitchen and back. These tiny victories matter, and they’re the foundation for building momentum. Give yourself credit for every little thing—yes, even putting on socks counts as a triumph when depression is involved.
Focus on building habits, even if they’re tiny. Maybe you can start by committing to just five minutes of a new activity. Over time, those five minutes can turn into fifteen, then thirty. Read a chapter of Atomic Habits by James Clear for practical tips on habit formation. Or dive into books like The Comfort Zone by Kristen Butler to learn more about why stepping outside your bubble is so important. Knowledge is power, and these tools can help you take control of your habits and your comfort zone.
Acknowledge the mental load
Recognize that depression, or exhaustion adds an extra layer of difficulty to everything. It’s not just that you’re tired—it’s that the sheer weight of existing feels like too much. You’re not failing because things feel hard; things are hard. This isn’t a contest of who has it worse, either. On days when even brushing your teeth feels like climbing a mountain, remember that effort counts. Celebrate the effort, even if it doesn’t feel like much. You’re not going to snap out of it overnight, and that’s okay.
How the comfort zone works
The comfort zone works like a muscle. If you don’t use it, it weakens and atrophies. Think about it—when you’re regularly pushing yourself a little bit, your comfort zone grows. You get used to trying new things and handling challenges. But when you stay in your bubble for too long, that bubble shrinks. The things that used to feel easy—like trying a new activity, striking up a conversation, or going to the gym—start to feel impossible.
Start small and be kind to yourself
If your comfort zone has shrunk, don’t expect to leap back into your old habits overnight. Start small. Maybe you take a five or ten-minute walk instead of signing up for a 5K. If that feels like too much, try something simpler, like picking up your mail. The important thing is to make that first step. Maybe you say yes to coffee with a friend instead of attending a massive social event. Small steps are still progress even when they don’t feel like ones, and progress is what counts. Be patient with yourself. It’s better to start with baby steps than to do nothing at all.
Learn to celebrate small wins
It’s easy to focus on where you should be and forget how far you’ve already come. Stop beating yourself up for not being farther along and focus on what you are doing. Did you try something new or take a small step forward? That’s a win—celebrate it. Wins don’t have to be huge to matter. Every small success builds momentum and lays the foundation for bigger changes.
Take time to recognize your efforts, no matter how small. Write them down, share them, or reward yourself. Progress is cumulative, and each step forward adds up over time. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about progress. Be proud of what you’ve achieved, because every step counts.
Action comes before motivation
When I first started learning about self-development, I realized there’s a huge misconception about motivation. For the longest time, I believed motivation was this magical lightning bolt that had to hit before I could take action. If I didn’t feel motivated, I thought, “Well, guess I’m not working out today,” and ended up taking a nap instead.
Then I came across books like Atomic Habits and When Panic Attacks, and they completely changed how I thought about it. Turns out, motivation doesn’t show up first—action does.
Building momentum
The way I see it, creating momentum is like a snowball rolling downhill. The hardest part is the first push, but once it’s moving, it builds size and speed. Your first step is to do absolutely anything. It doesn’t have to be impressive; it just has to happen. Take that first awkward, uncomfortable action, and let the momentum carry you forward. Over time, you’ll start to notice that doing the thing isn’t as hard as you thought it would be. Momentum has a way of making even the hardest tasks feel manageable.
Avoiding the trap of perfectionism
One of the biggest reasons we wait for motivation is the fear of not doing something perfectly. We tell ourselves that if we can’t get it exactly right, it’s better not to start at all. But here’s the thing: perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. Taking messy, imperfect action is infinitely better than waiting for some magical, flawless moment. Spoiler alert: that perfect moment doesn’t exist.
The truth is, perfection is often just a mask for fear. Fear of failure, fear of judgment, or even fear of success can keep us stuck in place. But waiting for perfection only creates more procrastination and more frustration. By focusing on progress instead, you free yourself to actually get started and improve as you go.
Creating the right moment
A lot of us wait for the “right moment” to do what we’ve been putting off, but the truth is, that moment doesn’t exist. Life will never pause and hand you perfect conditions. Waiting for readiness is a trap because readiness comes through doing. Confidence and momentum are built by starting, not by waiting.
Instead of holding out for perfection, take a small step now. Write one sentence, go for a five-minute walk, or make the phone call you’ve been avoiding. Action—no matter how small—breaks the cycle of inaction. The perfect moment isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you create.
Embracing discomfort for growth
I once read a quote by Mary Kate Teske that said, “No one ever tells you that bravery feels like fear,” and it stuck with me. The truth is, stepping out of your comfort zone or trying something new will feel uncomfortable—and that’s completely normal. It’s just your brain doing its job, trying to keep you safe from what it identifies as a threat.
Your brain can’t always tell the difference between something that’s truly dangerous and something that’s just unfamiliar. So it reacts with fear just to be sure. The good news? The more you face new experiences, the more your brain realizes these situations aren’t actually threats. Over time, the discomfort fades, and what once seemed terrifying starts to feel natural.
But this doesn’t happen overnight. Growth takes time, consistency, and a willingness to sit with the discomfort. It’s not always easy, but the reward is worth it: a more fulfilling life where fear no longer holds you back. Each time you push through the fear, you’re teaching your brain that the unknown isn’t as scary as it seems. And with practice, what felt impossible before becomes your new normal.
Final thoughts
Motivation isn’t some mystical unicorn you’re chasing. It’s a byproduct of action, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can get moving. Start small. Stretch that comfort zone just a little. Embrace the awkward, uncomfortable moments because they’re the ones that lead to growth. And yes, drag yourself to a workout now and then. The life you want isn’t going to magically appear. You’re going to have to work for it—but trust me, it’s worth it. Now go. Do the thing.
Recommendations
If you’re ready to dive deeper into self-development, here are three resources I highly recommend:
Atomic Habits
by James Clear
This book is a game-changer for understanding how habits work and how small, consistent changes can lead to big transformations. You’ll come out with real strategies you can apply right away and start small to not be overwhelmed.
When Panic Attacks
by Dr. David Burns
A must-read if you want to better understand anxiety and how to manage it. It offers practical strategies to tackle anxious thoughts. The book can feel a bit heavy at first, but stick with it.
The work of Dr. Julie Smith on multiple platforms
Dr. Julie is a clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and content creator who breaks down mental health. It’s always super relatable. She also shares amazing content on her website: blog posts, books, and recommendations for other great self-development reads.
